in the past month, I have celebrated multiple accomplishments. some of them are dreams I have held in my heart for a decade, others are things I never thought I would even want to do. I reached 15,000 subscribers on substack, an accomplishment that feels like something I have worked towards for the past 10 years but could never imagine how that wish in my heart would come to be. I graduated college with a degree in psychology, an accomplishment that I never thought I would care to have, I have always believed in blazing your own path, and I didn’t go to college until I was 24— until I felt I truly knew what I wanted out of it. And just a few days ago, I announced that my first book, a beautiful guided self love journal, is now published and released. This one is a dream I’ve had since as long as I can remember, and as much as I am beaming, I also feel like I cant even comprehend that I actually have done it. that after years of saying, “one day I want to make a guided journal so that I can spread healing and help people learn to love themselves” turned into saying, “today is that someday.”

not too long ago, I remember crying regularly (especially during my luteal phase) about the fact that I had nothing tangible to show for myself. I am twenty-six years old and I have no obvious success, no numbers people can see as proof, no degree to hang up, no money to say “I have figured this life thing out.” these breakdowns would consist of turning down multiple walkways of emotions. on one road of thinking, I would remember that I spent my early twenties healing from childhood SA, drug addiction, and PTSD. there were countless nights where I was alone in my bedroom, just me and God and my inner child. I walked myself through each panic attack, I held myself when I woke up crying from ptsd. I nurtured myself back to life, determined to turn each scar into something beautiful and lovely. I was devoted to making it to the other side, I was unwilling to let anything get in my way. I was going to heal, I was going to recover, and I was going to make it to the other side.

when I was 11 years old, I started a YouTube channel called pinkandsparkles101, and I made videos about makeup fashion and hair. it was this unbelievably stark dichotomy— a bright, tween-age, sparkly channel, filmed in the moments I had between abuse, slamming doors, and days without food. I started making advice videos when I was about 13, and I would make videos for each school year after I went through it, helping other people “get through 7th grade,” and when I was 18 I started a self love coaching business. and I shared everything I knew up to that point. I shared my journey of healing, of finding myself, and I helped women from all over the world.

but there was more work to do, and I was about to walk into one of the hardest seasons of my life— the most excruciating heartbreak, coupled with a resurgence of memories of childhood sexual abuse. the unfolding, the breaking, the therapy, the work, all of it would take everything I had in me for the next few years of my life.

and during all of those years of walking in the shadows of darkness, a seemingly endless dark night of the soul— I was developing. I was becoming. I was saving myself. I was finding the maps to healing, to finding deep self love, to overcoming codependency, to healing from narcissistic abuse, to healing from sexual abuse. I was inside of the exact experience, the exact time period, the heartbreaks, that led to me being able to write for 15,000 people, or wanting a degree in psychology, or becoming an author of a book that helps people.

at the time, people my age were in college, in dorms, doing drugs, having sex. and when they finished school and went into their careers, I had made it to the other side of the valley of shadow and death. and I had absolutely nothing to show for it. they had masters degrees, well-paying careers, apartments, and more. and I had something that couldn’t be quantified, that couldn’t be posted on instagram. and I knew that it mattered, I knew that it held weight, but I couldn’t shake the sadness that there was no way to display it, and that in terms of regular life, I didn’t have the car, or the career, or the degree, or the money.

but what I did have, was my life back.

a life that was destined to be taken from me, from before I could even speak words. a life that something dark tried to steal. a life that would take every single ounce of courage, sacrifice, and fight that I had within me. suicide wanted me, drug addiction wanted me, abusive men wanted me.

so I had to want me, more.

I had to want life for myself.

I had to want health for myself.

I had to want safety for myself.

and I am telling you, all I ever did, was keep going. I could feel that God had a pathway laid out for me, and I understood that faith is most often blind. I knew that “becoming” included 95% of my growth going unseen. I knew that the pathway I took was worth it, even if I had no statistics to tell me just how worth it.

and guess what? I am in the bliss of the early days of my first book being out in the world, now holding a college degree, and writing for a large online community… and I am still scrounging together how I will make my car payment. I still live at home, gas is $7, and I have no idea where I am going next.

and I still have absolutely nothing figured out.

so, I will do what I always do. and I will let it all unfold.

and I hope that you will give yourself the same permission— to not know where you are going, to not map out every single specific detail. I hope that you will sit with yourself for a moment, and be genuinely proud of all that you have made it through. I hope that you know it has all been worth it, none of it will go to waste, and that even when you can’t see anything but darkness, the sun will always come up. and the birds will chirp. and the trees will sway in the wind. and you will be okay.

because your path is your own— and nobody can tell you any differently. because they are on their own path as well.

keep going. I love you.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful safe space for reflection, healing, and self discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

continue reading:

shop the guided journal here!

my first two articles on substack were, “what 10 years of consistent journaling has taught me” and “how I practice being my own bestfriend” and as I sit here writing this today, that fact alone leaves me in a bit of awe. at the beautiful, full circle unfolding of it all.

as a young girl, i was plagued with trauma that had seeped its way into every corner of my being, and spilled out all over my life. i had no idea why, how, or where, all this darkness came from. all I knew was that it was simply too much to feel, and my goal became getting as far away from myself as humanly possible. I wanted to numb, run, hide. I wanted to pack this darkness into a padded box, never to be opened, never to be looked at.

my childhood was colored with themes of abuse from my father— a horrible, systematic, attempt to destroy innocence and purity. when i finally broke free of the darkness and the abuse, I was left with a lot of scars, and no where to go to heal them.

around 16 years old, I bravely decided to turn inward. it was an act of courage to become willing to look at that padded, locked box within the depths of my subconscious. and I had to decide that I loved myself and life enough to want to heal. I knew I had God with me, and I did every part of the healing for my inner child. for the little girl who went through all the pain, the precious child within me who deserved a much better life.

get your copy here!

so, I began journaling, and I began practicing self love, and I began the process of becoming my own bestfriend. if someone made a guided journal about healing, I can promise you teenage me had a copy. through thoughtful questions and beautiful books, I began to meet my true self. naturally, I created practices of my own in my own personal journal, deepening my care towards myself. it was a place that I could turn to, something physical I could hold in my hands, a tangible item that I could use to spend time with myself, and reclaim what was stolen from me.

there is so much wisdom within you, all it takes is a courageous action of turning within. and it doesn’t matter if you are someone with trauma or not, because every single one of you is deserving of creating a relationship with yourself that feels safe, fulfilling, kind, and unconditionally loving. this world can be harsh, it is incredibly worth your time to be kind to yourself. my life absolutely transformed from these practices, and to be completely honest, it quite literally saved my life. I stopped living in darkness that was never mine to begin with, and my world began to become filled with healthy light, magic, softness, love, and joy.

so… I made this for you.

from my heart to yours.

“Becoming Your Own Bestfriend: the guided journal” is NOW AVAILABLE!!!

view the book on amazon!

over the past year, behind the scenes, I have been secretly and quietly pouring into this labor of love. it feels like a collection of everything I have learned in my journey of healing, and it felt like I was writing it for specific souls the entire time. there are pages of writing from me about what true self love is, how to move through your emotions, and how to build a relationship with yourself. there are so many beautiful pages of guided journaling, with pretty art, but deep lessons. pages you will feel so excited to fill in. it is a precious, pink, guided journal created from my heart to yours.

the entire purpose of it is for you to have something tangible and physical that you can hold in your hands. something analog. something you can rely on for your cozy self love nights, and your slow mindful mornings. I imagine you all lighting your candles, grabbing your cup of tea, a cozy blanket, with this book on your lap. meeting yourself. I envision your inner children healing, your heart beaming, and your mind renewing. you are so incredibly deserving of love, and it is an absolute honor to make an item that might help even just one person in being kinder to themselves. it is a gentle book, a soft invitation — but it is also incredibly deep. I pray that you have revelations and realizations that transform you from deep within.

I pray that throughout your journey in this journal, you begin to realize how deserving you are of love, and that slowly but surely — you become your own bestfriend.

I love you so much.

I am crying while I write this, because so much of my pain now feels incredibly worthwhile. I am unbelievably grateful that I could turn darkness and abuse into something as beautiful, pure, and light as this. thank you for being here, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to make something from my heart. I love you all so much.

purchase your copy here!

click here to get your copy!

when we were children, the world around us acted as a beautiful canvas. one that we could delight in, one that we could use as the foundations of endless imagination. we found fairies in trees, held dinner parties for all of our friends, we became famous musicians with the snap of a finger. when an idea came, it was never met with doubt, logic, or shame. playfulness was our resting place, and we embodied whimsy with out ever having to strive to.

what is whimsy?: it is a quality of being playfully quaint, fanciful, or unexpectedly imaginative. It refers to lighthearted behavior, odd ideas, or artistic expressions driven by spontaneous creativity and joy rather than serious logic or strict purpose.

in our modern world, we are consistently bogged down by endless information, negative news cycles, financial despair, nervous system burn-out, exhaustion, stress, and more. it can seem that the second we turn our phone on, everything is doomed. but we forget that there is so much power in where we place our attention as well as our intention. there is still magic, there is still wonder, the birds still sing, and the trees still dance in the breeze.

somewhere along the way, many of us stopped allowing ourselves to be playful unless it was productive, aesthetic, monetizable, or impressive. we became hyper-aware of how we are perceived. we stopped wandering. we stopped pretending. we stopped delighting in tiny things. not because magic disappeared, but because survival became louder.

this week, i want to bring us all into a very intentional practice of whimsical self care. and what is so magical about this framework that I have created, is that it is actually incredibly healing. bringing whimsy into the now, is a very powerful form of inner child healing. through doing this, we will turn inward, connecting with the precious child within, and bringing this energy back into our present day.

whimsy interrupts hypervigilance. it gently reminds the nervous system that life is not only danger, deadlines, performance, and survival. playful moments create safety through presence. they reconnect us to curiosity, imagination, softness, and aliveness.

practice 1: remember

I want to begin day 1 with a simple practice of remembering. id love for you to grab your journal, make your space cozy, or find a spot outside. I want you to think back to your childhood, and bring up memories of the most natural whimsy within you. were you the kind of kid who imagined brand new worlds? did you delight in a Disney movie? did you pretend you were your favorite characters? did you believe you could fly? did you love waving hello to strangers? did you write stories? did you fight enemies?

let all the remembrance come to you, and jot it down.

this will become the first part of building our framework for the practice ahead.

practice 2: understand

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7 days of self care: restoring your nervous system

sometimes your nervous system doesn’t need another productivity hack, strict routine, or reminder to “get it together.”

sometimes it just needs safety.

sometimes it needs slowness. softness. quiet. a moment where you stop performing and finally let yourself exhale.

maybe lately you’ve been feeling overstimulated, emotionally exhausted, anxious without fully understanding why, or disconnected from yourself in ways that are hard to explain. maybe your body has been holding onto stress for longer than you realized. maybe you’ve been surviving for so long that rest almost feels unfamiliar.

this is for that version of you.

not the version trying to optimize every part of her life. not the version trying to become perfectly healed. just the real you — tired, hopeful, overwhelmed, growing, healing.

this isn’t about becoming a calmer person overnight. it’s not about fixing every anxious thought or suddenly having perfect routines.

it’s about slowly teaching your body that it is safe to soften again.

you can start this practice at ANY time!! its 7 days, whenever.

for the next 7 days, we’re focusing on nervous system restoration through gentle rituals, emotional safety, grounding practices, and intentional self care. these are not meant to overwhelm you. they are meant to support you.

throughout this week, each day will include:

• an intention

• an affirmation

• 3 journal prompts

• a nervous system self care moment

• 1–2 gentle practices or rituals

move through this at your own pace. repeat the days you need. skip anything that doesn’t resonate. do 3 in a row, or all of them, or one a week. do what works for you!

just begin where you are.

THE 7 DAYS of nervous system restoration

Day 1: Slowing Down Enough to Hear Yourself

intention:

creating space to notice what your body and mind have been carrying

affirmation:

when your nervous system has been overloaded for a long time, slowing down can feel uncomfortable at first. silence can feel unfamiliar. stillness can bring up emotions you’ve been too busy to notice.

but slowing down is not laziness.

it is often the first moment your body finally feels safe enough to speak.

today is not about changing anything. it’s simply about creating enough space to hear yourself again.

journal prompts:

• what has been emotionally heavy for me lately?

• where in my life do i feel overstimulated or emotionally drained?

• when do i feel the most calm, grounded, or like myself?

the self care moment:

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we often move through life without thought, without awareness, almost on a consistent autopilot. it is so important that we take moments to pause and actually connect with ourselves, and almost audit our own self care. when we do this, we are able to zoom out and take a look at our daily life, instead of just idly going through the motions. these questions are meant for anybody at anytime who wants to take a breath, do a mini life audit, check in with yourself intentionally, and maybe invite a few changes.

many of us are afraid to look our own selves in the eyes. we shy away from sitting with the truth. this is no fault of your own, this is not a character defect, this is not because you hate yourself. this is simply because sitting with ourselves deeply and honestly is a practice of deep patience and authentic self love- something that our modern society leaves virtually no room for; and most definitely does not consider a cause for celebration.

but i do.

and i know how uncomfortable asking yourself the hard questions can be, because i have ran from myself with the determination of someone training for a marathon. i have willingly put blindfolds on so that i wouldn’t be forced to see. i have drank myself into oblivion so that i wouldn’t have to feel anything real.

but all of this running led to much more than numb nothingness. it led to the deep-rooted pain of self abandonment. a pain that i wish on no one, a pain that journaling helped me to heal and transform.

i wasn’t running because i hated myself, or didn’t know myself,

i just hadn’t quite met myself yet.

journaling has always been my doorway back to my true self. each page has been a witness to my unraveling, my rebuilding, and the quiet in-betweens where I felt incredibly lost. it has been the mirror I was too afraid to hold up, and the safe space I never found anywhere else.

usually these lengthy journal prompt posts are reserved for my paid subscribers only (there’s a whole archive/ journal prompt library there!) but this particular topic is one i heard from so many of my readers, and i think this is such important work, i really wanted everyone to be able to do this. so enjoy this freebie!! we just began a 7 day nervous system reset practice!:

1. How does my body feel right now? (calm, exhausted, heavy, ect)

2. What might my body need right now? (rest, love, nourishment)

3. What might my body need less of right now?

4. How has my mental state felt lately?

5. What types of thoughts have been circling my mind lately?

6. Have these thoughts felt helpful or kind to my self?

7. What thoughts/styles of thinking do I want to let go of?

8. What thoughts would I like to fill my mind with?

9. What has my daily routine been lately?

10. Is it feeling helpful or draining?

11. What daily routine would I like to implement?

12. Have I been creating/seeking enough joy lately?

13. What things/people/activities bring me joy?

14. What fears have been taking up the most space in my mind lately?

15. What has been consuming my energy recently?

16. What has been comforting me lately?

17. What do I need to hear right now?

18. What parts of myself have I been ignoring?

19. What truth have I been avoiding?

20. What emotions have I not fully allowed myself to feel?

21. What have I been distracting myself from lately?

22. What has my daily routine been lately?

23. Is it feeling supportive, grounding, or draining?

24. What daily routine would make me feel more like myself?

25. What parts of my day feel nourishing?

26. What parts of my day leave me depleted?

27. What would my ideal slow morning look like?

28. What would a more balanced life feel like for me?

29. Have I been creating or seeking enough joy lately?

30. What things, people, and activities bring me genuine joy?

31. What would loving myself more intentionally look like in this season of my life?

32. What do I want more of in my life right now?

33. What do I want less of?

34. What am I ready to let go of?

35. What am I ready to invite in?

which prompt felt like it was written just for you? tell me in the comments.
i read every single one, and your reflections always make this space feel alive.

Leave a comment

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

before you go…

If you’ve enjoyed reading The Fairy & The Moon, I created something special for you.

My debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend, is filled with thoughtful prompts, reflections, and practices designed to help you build a deeper relationship with yourself.

explore the journal!❥

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

TW: mild mention of childhood SA (skip to the section titled: “this is not what love should be”)

i was once a very young girl, with a curious and empathetic nature. something was amiss in my parents and i could not quite pinpoint it- but i could feel it. oh, how i could feel it. i would call it the “something’s not right feeling” and it layed deep in my gut. it tugged on me and pulled on me.

many things in my childhood were incredibly confusing, and most of them have taken me an entire lifetime of being dedicated to healing.

one of the most confusing things of all was the concept of love. love was natural to me, it was easy for me, my capacity for love always felt much larger and bigger than my tiny body. i loved many things, i loved humanity, and i loved with a reverberating passion and dedication.

my dad would always tell me he loved me.

and subsequently he would leave.

on drug-fueled runs that drained our family’s already low bank account.

he would dissapear even when he was standing right there.

the light would leave his eyes and an odd, insidious blackness would replace his green eyes.

my dad would always tell me he loved me.

and many times he would do it with a kiss.

one that lasted much too long.

when i was much too old.

he would come into my room late at night, with a stash of candy.

a bribe, a coaxing, not far from the archetype of the kidnapper who offers you candy.

he would tell me to keep our little secret.

and then, he would tell me he loved me.

but that never quite made sense to me.

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this is not what love should be.

they say they love me, so why do they leave?

i know they love me, so why did they hurt me?

they told me they love me, so why do i feel so unloved? why do i feel worthless? why do they make me feel filled head to toe with shame?

does he love me? does he love me not?

the experience of being confused by the concept of love followed me through the relationships of my adolescent and early adult years. stories of being told i was loved, yet treated like i was not, became a constant theme that i figured would always stay with me.

i could not shake the part of me that loved so deeply i would follow love wherever i sensed it. i would dive deep into the waters that were meant to carry me to the land of love, but i always forgot that i did not know how to swim.

and the promise of the land of love seemed to always leave me stranded at sea. vulnerable, naked, and afraid. surrounded by sharks, and storms, and the dark underbelly of the ocean. alone, and without a boat, or a plane, or a view of safe land.

the thing was, this fight, this struggle— it was familiar to me. it was comfortable to me. it was my comfortable hell, although a soft and quiet part of me dreamed of an unfamiliar haven.

i was familiar with thrashing, and drowing, and screaming, and survival when it came to love. love is so incredibly worth it and so profound that it must take a struggle that equals its reward. it is a mountain to climb and a fight to conquer, and that is quite all right. i had never known anything different.

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what a surprise it was to me to discover that love included no struggle, no drowning, no thrashing, no crying, and no screaming.

like waking up from years of brain wash and realizing- oh. woah. that was not love at all. i don’t know what any of that was. but it definitely was not love.

the right person will never, ever leave you feeling confused on where they stand with you. they will never have you wondering if they truly love you. they will NEVER have you pleading them to love you better, to treat you softer, to have integrity. you will not feel fear that catapults you into survival mode. you will not feel the looming, sinking, doom, that they may leave you. you will not cry on the kitchen floor in a puddle of shame, exhaustion, and heartache.

true, honest, healthy love does not feel like an endless cycle.

but addiction does.

you are not meant to feel hopeless and broken hoping, waiting, and wishing, for them to make you feel good again—to make you feel worthy again.

when someone shows you who they are- believe them. this does not mean all humans are not flawed— wired to make beautiful mistakes and navigate shortcomings. this does not mean we must manifest and craft a perfect partner that will never hurt us. they will. it is human nature. and we will hurt the right person too. but unconditional love will bloom in the dedication to your own journeys of self love. your equal ability to apologize, to take accountability, and to move forward. but it will not ask you to move forward from insidious betrayal. it will not ask you to make yourself smaller so that you might fit better. it will not confuse you. it will not leave you stranded at sea.

i write about the magnificent journey of self love. there was even a new classification created by Dr. Ross Rosenburg, called “self love deficit disorder” he proposes this as the new term for codependency. that SLDD replaces ‘codependency’ with a term that highlights the core shame that perpetuates it, as well as the solution to it.

this has been my life’s work for many years. but i would like to make this very clear:

there is no work you need to do to become loveable.

there is not an exhaustive list of things you must check off to be deemed valuable enough to be treated with kindness, respect, and care.

the healing journey that is self love will only make this clearer to you, and more deeply ingrained in your being. but at the end of the day, you deserve true, deep, harmonious, and integrous love- at all times.

love is not a reward. it is a birthright.

but you are a valuable, precious, thing. and you deserve to place yourself in safe hands.

start with yourself. start with being your own safe hands. become devoted to unconditionally loving yourself. dive deep into yourself. create calm waters that flow like a beautiful, sparkling river. plant seeds in your subconscious and watch as they grow, and bloom, and flourish. pour into you.

and when the right love comes-

it will fit right into this calm, flowing, river.

and you will know.

and you will not be confused.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

you haven’t been being kind to yourself. it isn’t feeling fun to get dressed, your mindset feels glass half empty, your optimism feels hard to connect to. your self worth feels low, and its impacting your confidence and your self love. you know there is some type of act of love you need to give yourself but you’re not sure where to begin.

here is a comprehensive guide to traveling inward to turn your confidence back on. choosing to slow down and go within is a radical act of self love. we’ve been talking a lot lately (in my newsletter) about the secret to having true confidence is that it is born out of a devotion to being kinder to ourselves. i have been offering maps to understand why we end up here, how to have compassion for ourselves, and ways to begin towards a shift of going inward first to heal. i wanted to write you a list of ideas to use when you’re feeling off, low in your self worth, anxious, not your best, not confident, or just point blank weird. come back to this whenever you need some ideas.

i love you so much and i am so, so, so glad you’re here.

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✩ Confidence Practices ✩

❥ experimentation over perfection

when our self worth feels low, we often find ourselves stuck in a place of shame. we become so focused on what we aren’t doing right, where we aren’t performing well enough, where we need to become better. there are many ways to work through this shame, but I want to invite you to try something radical, and super fun: experiment with something totally fresh.

• this doesn’t have to be big or grand, I just want you to think of something you don’t usually do. maybe it’s singing, or curling your hair, or watercoloring, or doing a hike. maybe there is something you’ve always wanted to try, but never let yourself. whatever sparks a mini light within you when you’re thinking of this, thats the one!

❥ no negative self talk day

I recently wrote an entire article on how important it is to take the reins back over our mind when it gets stuck in negative loops (you can read it here: if you don't control your day it will control you) when confidence is low, the voice of self hate and low self worth turns its volume up. it’s almost like it takes over, seeking to confirm the feeling you’re having. let’s switch it.

• for one whole day, decide to engage in no negative talk. this doesn’t mean you can’t allow the thoughts to come (we have no control over that) it simply means you are invited to become aware of the negative thoughts. and as they come, I want you to pick a new thought. something that is self loving and affirming. just like that, all throughout the day. you’ll see!

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❥ romanticize the mundane

life gets so much more enjoyable when you begin to add whimsy and romanticization to the little, mundane aspects of your day. when sitting down to do your homework, put on a 2000s playlist, crack open your windows and light a yummy candle. when you’re driving to work, roll down your windows put your hands out and scream-sing one of your favorite hits. romanticizing your day is all about being willing to make something a vibe.

❥create a “confidence mantra” for yourself and repeat it daily.

{low energy}

my favorite affirmation tip is to pick something you want to believe, but might not fully believe yet. pick it, and commit to repeating it to yourself daily. the more you do this, the more you will become aware of how it actually changes the way you feel in your body, moods, and mind. our words are so powerful, and speaking life over ourselves goes a very long way.

• here are some ideas: “my confidence comes from within, and it radiates all around me” “my self love is growing all of the time” “I am whole, I am enough, I am worthy, I am loved”

❥main character morning routine

start your day on the right foot. start it with excitement, joy, whimsy, and belief in yourself. by pouring energy into the first part of your day, you set the tone for everything else. what if you began your day with confidence, love, and believing that you are enough?

• try journaling about the things you love about yourself, affirming that you are going to have an incredible day!

❥dress up in a way that feels FUN

you can be anything you want to be, you just have to choose to be that.

confidence has such a canvas when it comes to the ways we dress ourselves or do our hair or makeup ect. you don’t have to pick something outlandish or bold for this practice to make an impact. just pick something that excites you, maybe its a little more color than usual, or shoes you have always wanted to wear, or more sparkle on your eyeshadow. just simply go for it, and walk out into the world with a new level of excitement.

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if you want to dive deeper into building your self confidence and healing your low self worth through self love, these 2 pieces offer a deeper foundation and journey:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

in many ways i came into the world absolutely beaming with confidence and purpose. I have an uncannily clear memory of being toddler-aged, running around repeating to myself “I have a purpose! I’ve got this! Let’s do this thing!!!” I was the type of child who went up to strangers, telling them hello and always wanting to make new friends. and I was doing musical theater from the age of 2… and I considered the stage to be my home, I absolutely adored it (and I still do)

but somewhere between the hormones of the tween years and the social pressures of the teenage years, coupled with the depression, the comparison, the anxiety, and the everything in between — confidence was no longer something that came to me like a pure flowing river from my spirit. it was like it was buried deep somewhere deep within me, crushed under the weight of a million reasons why I should not love myself and should not see myself as worthy.

I struggled an incredible amount in my adolescent years to see myself as enough, as worthy, as valuable. due to trauma I was hard-wired to run straight into lion dens, straight into the hands of demons who couldn’t wait for the chance to tell me how truly worthless and not enough I was.

and overtime, my confidence suffered.

but guess fucking what.

I got it back.

because its mine. and I was most definitely not going to let the world take it from me.

because I belong to me, and I am going to pour deep love into myself, even when the world did not offer me pure love freely.

because I don’t believe confidence is something you have to fight for, it’s just something you have to love yourself enough to turn on.

so lets get into it shall we? you and me. this is 29 journal prompts for unshakeable self confidence. wherever you are in your relationship to your worth, your self love, and your confidence, these prompts will find you there. and I am so excited for you to plant seeds that are sure to bear beautiful fruit. from the words of the little girl within me: “Let’s do this thing!!!”

✧ COMING HOME TO YOURSELF

1. Begin by writing a message of love to yourself, like an affirmation or a promise.

I want us to start with this moment of self love, because i’m going to be bringing us through a bit of deep work — in other words, we’ll be shining a flashlight on a couple wounds so that we can bring lasting healing. but in truth, all long lasting healing comes from a deep act of love towards ourselves. you can say something like, “I love you so deeply. I am right here for you, I know that you are worthy and valuable and I am ready to truly embody and feel it.”

*bonus points for hugging yourself for a few breaths. don’t knock it till you try it!

let’s get into it <3

✧unlock the prompts + full archive✧

2. I want you to step back into your childhood and think of a time you remember feeling confident, proud, excited, and loved.

the idea of this question is to bring you back to a core memory, somewhere where your confidence was uninhibited, it was untouched by the world. it was a pure, free flowing light within you. write whatever comes up, let it out onto the page, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

3. Now, I want you to get into more specific detail. What does that feeling feel like inside of your body?

sit with it for a moment, close your eyes. is it light? is it coming from your tummy? or maybe your heart? does it feel energetic? get into detail, and don’t worry about it making sense. just write it down as it comes.

✧ UNDERSTANDING WHAT DIMMED YOUR LIGHT

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What Was Woven Before I Could Weave

i am 15 years old and i have been sitting and waiting at the cafe near my school for hours. my dad was supposed to pick me up at 2:50pm, it is now 6pm. i was so looking forward to him getting me (he never does), and we were going to go see a movie. i’ve texted him a million times, and received no response. my best guy friend has been sitting with me all this time. finally he looks at me and says, “lets go, its okay.”

and we walk home.

i enter into my dark apartment, no one is home to greet me. my mom is at one of the many jobs she has in order to keep things afloat. my dad is nowhere to be found. i find the make-shift bong i made and stored in the closet, i take it out, and i smoke.

an almost illegible text finally comes in from my dad, telling me he is going to kill himself. (this isn’t the first time i have received a text like this) i panic, the room around me feels suffocating and with tunnel vision i begin to write long paragraphs hoping and praying they will get through to him. i sit and i wait, no response.

wearily, i go to the kitchen, starving. i open the cabinets and the fridge and they are empty. my mom and i were at the grocery store yesterday, we got all the way to checkout, and her card declined. my dad had spent all of the money on drugs again.

i find a bottle of nyquil, and i drink the entire thing. it is not the high im craving, but i have just ran out of weed.

i cry myself to sleep.

i am 19 years old, and i have been completely and totally in love for the past 2 years. it is a relationship that is more beautiful than anything i could ever imagine. we are both sober and our relationship is filled with health, spirituality, love, and depth. we have something magical that everyone around us can see. i thank God every night for bringing me someone who can help heal the mess of my childhood. i am finally safe. he is my saving grace, my miracle, my everything.

i am 21 years old and i am sitting in my bedroom, high.

my boyfriend of 4 years calls me, and in slurred words, he tells me he is going to kill himself.

i sit there for hours, stringing my words into sentences that i hope and pray will get through to him.

not one part of me is thinking, how did i get here again?

because the direct correlation is unknown to me and the truth is buried somewhere deep in my subconscious.

to be honest with you, this is the hardest piece i have written yet. i am detached as i tell these things to you. i have to tap in and re-enter a wound that took over my life for over two decades. it is weird to write about this from a very, very different place (a much, much better place).

and in this case, all “normal” needs for classification is familiarity.

we are living in non-“truths” that feel as familiar as the sky being blue.

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here are some things i learned:

love is allowing someone to cause however much harm they please, and begging them to stay anyway.

love is something you have to fight for, and prove yourself worthy of.

drugs are more valuable than i am.

i am not enough, just as i am.

here is how i un-learned them:

1. becoming aware of what misguided lessons colored my childhood

it is easy to see how children pick up everything in the environment around them

you were once a child, too.

what did you pick up? you have been carrying it with you. would you like to let it go?

2. heartbreak.

gut-wrenching, sobbing on the kitchen floor heartache. it is in these moments that the truth surrounded me. like a house of mirrors, there was nowhere to turn.

i am my mother and i am with my father.

and the cycle will end with me.

3. radical strength and fire

pulling up from the depths of my soul, a fire so violent it is benevolent. a strength so otherworldly, it rises me up from the ashes.

“i will not succumb to the hand i was given. what has happened to me will not identify me. i will write my own story, in my own way, so get OUT of my way.”

4. making choices for myself, by myself.

for me that is sobriety (the child within me feels much, much safer when i am sober and frankly, so do i.) cheers to almost 4 years!

this also includes surrounding myself with truly safe people, who love me and value me for me. and i am able to pour love into them freely and completely.

5. practicing self love

learning how to believe that i am enough, exactly as i am. knowing that unconditional love has nothing to do with allowing others to harm you and everything to do with allowing others to love and respect you. learning these things by putting them into practice through the relationship i have with myself, first and foremost.

explore the lessons in self love library:

6. replacing shame with deep compassion

i do not care how long these patterns have seeped into your life. they are no fault of your own. i love you exactly as you are. i see you, i understand you. it was never your fault. you did not get to choose. i am so grateful you are here. all of the power lies within your hands now. and those stories will becoming nothing more than fuel for your personal revolution.

7. leaving.

the most radical act of taking your power back is taking your energy away. i have been no contact with my father for over 10 years now. it is a layered story for another time, but i eventually walked away from that ex-boyfriend. and when i finally did, i did it with a fire that blazed a path before me and left ashes behind me. it was a decision that absolutely made me who i am today.

On Weaving Something Brand New:

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and can i tell you a secret? as you heal, you undoubtedly will begin to attract people who are truly safe and good. and you may still be a bit afraid, because the last thing you want is to end up in that terrible place again.

but it won’t matter.

because the home you have built within yourself has a foundation so strong it can withstand any storm. it has corners filled with candlelight and extra soft blankets. it has a sitting room for coffee mornings and late night tea. your safety comes from within. and it comes with you everywhere.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

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if you’re wanting to dive into healing yourself through presence, journaling, and true self love, you can start right where you are in this beautiful, jam-packed 7 day self love practice:

☆if you liked this piece, you might like these!:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world

✧join lessons in self love✧

welcome to The Fairy & The Moon, our cozy little corner of the internet ✧
where we slow down, feel deeply, and learn how to love ourselves through it all.

today’s essay is about nostalgia—the ache of it, the beauty of it, and how to be present for it all.

inside the companion post, we slow this all the way down… with guided journaling, grounding rituals, and reflections that help you come back into your life instead of watching it pass you by: lessons in self love: reframing nostalgia

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Nostalgia Is An Invitation To Presence

✧

the ache of growing up

i have always been conscious of the precious magic of youth— so painfully aware of its unavoidable dissolving. so conscious of its inevitable end point, holding on to it, like a child with a bear. like watching my beloved bear change overtime, and knowing that should be beautiful, but instead it makes me feel uncomfortable. this discomfort, this dissapointment, this non-acceptance— feels inescapable. it is impossible to pry me away from the grips i have on my attachment to youth.

there is a fantastic comfort of being in the era of becoming, blooming, burgeoning. it reminds me of the way it feels to smoke weed alone during a breakup. knowing he is probably out there, at some party, with some other girl. but i can be content right here. i can let weed be my companion tonight and together we will dissociate into blissful oblivion surrounded by blankets and tiktok scrolls and blank space.

it does not remind me of the serenity of meditation, or yoga, or journaling, or all of the above. the comfort of being young has no radical non-attachment. it is actually very much so attached, and very skilled at stepping back into a magical mental land where there is no timer.

i am not sure what it is— but i know that there is something about the age of twenty-five that makes this ache feel all the more real. i understand i am young, and frankly, thank god for that.

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for my 18th birthday party i made it kid themed, we had a bouncy house and an arts & crafts set up.

when i was 14 years old i used to write about the loss of blind innocence— i could feel the way it was leaving me, and how i would never have it back. the comfort of being ignorant, the safety of believing in magic and miracles.

when i was 8 years old, i couldn’t escape my intuition. my gut feeling was more like a scream. a knowing that i could not place. an awareness, a suredness that something was incredibly wrong in my home.

and a lot was wrong. but most of all, what was wrong, was that i never got the chance to have my own beautiful youth.

my 14 year old description of blind innocence was unbeknownst to me a description of dissociation. a survival mechanism born from extreme trauma. the psyche’s magnificent and intricate way of protecting you from the impact and the shock of the trauma, as well as the aftermath of it.

i didn’t lose anything at 14.

the spell just wore off.

and in my teenage and early adulthood years, i would become the friend who constantly takes photos, and the daughter who takes too many selfies. it would come off like vanity to the naked eye, but it is much more than that. i capture every moment, i take candids of my friends when i find them beautiful, i see something in my reality and it is so precious and stunning and i want to hold on to it forever and thank god for camera phones.

i have been journaling consistently for over 10 years (if you’re not new here, you know all about that) and within the journals is detailed stories, tons of photographs, and physical memory-keeping.

when i sat down to write this, the initial feeling was agonizing nostalgia. i came across photos and videos of my friends and i in a club just two years ago, and nostalgia came over me. like a wave of nausea. it came with a partner, fear? anxiety?

i know i am seeing those very same friends, in just a few days. and we talk everyday. and we have been friends for over 10 years— already surviving the eras of moving away for college, the phases of being wrapped up in toxic relationships, and the never-ending ups and downs of early adulthood.

i know it is not gone.

but i am terrified that it will be.

i am terrified that the joy i feel is a spell that will one day break.

i hold on to every moment, every memory, every incredible friendship, everyone i love, with such deep gratitude it makes my heart feel like it is going to burst.

✧

learning to love the present moment

there is something i often tell people, and i have written about it before.

fear shows you what you really care about. underneath, hidden behind the feeling of fear, is a glowing representation of your deepest desires.

i lived in survival for much too long. i lived with a nervous system frozen in trauma, well into my early 20s. i only—very recently— came back to life.

and i want to fucking live it.

i care to live. i care to experience life at its fullest. i desire to love hard and love with length. i yearn to grow with the people that mean the world to me. i long to create moments that i know will become some of my favorite memories.

but most of all— i desire to be.

to truly be.

conscious, and present.

for the magnificence of it all.

i invite you to turn nostalgia and fear into gratitude and presence.

to notice how your profound ability to love so deeply is a gift.

nostalgia is proof you have lived a life worth living.

and proof that that is what you do. and it is what you will continue to do.

so kiss the memories, and become excited to make more.

take a deep breath. and drop in to the now.

how unfathomably breathtaking this very moment is.

☆if you liked this piece, you might like these!:

if you’ve been stuck in your head lately…
if your thoughts have been louder than your actual life…
if everything feels a little heavier, more negative, harder than it needs to be…

this is your way out.

not in a “fix everything forever” kind of way.

but in a right now, gently take your power back kind of way.

because the truth is:

you are not a prisoner of your mind.

even if it feels like it.

i wrote in our reflection article, “we all have a choice. and being in a good mood truly is a skill you have to practice. if we let the day or the circumstances control our joy, we have lost everything. because life will always happen, it will go up and down and it will throw curveballs. but circumstances do not have any true power over the mindset and space you create within your own being.”

and this practice is a very easy tool you can use to actually put that into practice. yay!

if this recent piece resonated with you — if you’ve been feeling stuck in your head, or like your thoughts have been running the show — this is the companion practice for you.

inside: i’ll guide you through a simple, step-by-step reset: how to interrupt the spiral, shift your energy, and consciously take your day back. + a beautiful journal prompt section to work through this topic.

its yours, and you will be able to come back to it whenever you need it.

✧ this is where we move from understanding… into actually practicing ✧

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons in Self Love Library — a growing collection of guided practices, journaling rituals, and deeper work to help you reconnect with yourself and create real change in your daily life.

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✧ The Truth We Forget

when you’re in a spiral, it feels convincing.

it feels like truth.
like reality.
like this is just how things are right now.

but that voice in your head?
the one narrating everything that’s wrong, everything that’s missing, everything that’s not enough —

that’s not you.

that’s a pattern.

and patterns can be interrupted.

you don’t need to wait to feel better to take your power back.

you take your power back… and then you start to feel better.

let’s do it together, simply go through each step of this reset, and finish with picking one of the journal prompts. you will feel much different afterwards, lighter and more hopeful. and the best part… you get to have this forever to come back to!

✧ when it feels hard to choose differently

sometimes you won’t want to do this.

sometimes the bad mood feels weirdly comforting. familiar. justified.

you’ll think:

• “i don’t feel like it”

• “this won’t work”

• “today just sucks”

that’s okay.

you don’t need to feel ready.

you just need to interrupt it once.

even if it’s messy. even if you don’t fully believe it yet.

this is a practice and i promise it will get easier overtime.

✧ when to use this practice

come back to this practice when:

• you wake up already in a bad mood

• you’ve been scrolling and feel worse about your life

• your thoughts won’t stop spiraling

• everything feels heavy for no clear reason

• you catch yourself thinking “today is just not my day”

this is your moment to interrupt it.

not later. not tomorrow.

right then.

✧ The “Take Your Day Back” Reset

this is the practice.

come back to this anytime you feel yourself slipping into that place.

1. interrupt

Read more

The Ache Of Belonging To A Different Life

have you ever had the quiet, disorienting feeling that you are living a life that doesn’t belong to you?

not in a dramatic, burn-it-all-down kind of way.

but in a subtle, aching way.
like something is just… off.

like you’re slightly out of place in your own life.

every now and then, i take a small journey through my journals. i read through entries from the past year, and even farther back.

this time, i noticed a very intruiging reoccuring theme. over and over, i had written,

and i remember this feeling, i understand it.

on days where the weight of the world felt like it landed on my chest and seeped into every cell of my being, i would find myself staring at my ceiling fan. i could not move, but it kept trudging along in its electrical way. and i simply sat there, frozen.

on the drives to various babysitting and nanny jobs, a quiet sob would fall from my eyes. teardrops of regret, confusion, longing and loss.

nostalgia for a younger, livelier version of me would course through my veins, with a sick whisper that i will never be her again.

and she would not be proud of me.

i am, and have always been, one of those people with a great, endless adoration for life. and these moments were a reflection of that, just from a different perspective.

i remember being a little girl, and having this incredible suredness that i had a PURPOSE. and i was going to carry it out. i was the embodiment of determination in a tiny little body.

some years, that purpose was acting. telling stories on a stage or on a movie screen. losing myself in other characters, yet expressing the familiar ache of being a human, that so many people felt, but could not put into words.

other years, it was youtube. i started a youtube channel at 11 years old and i made advice videos for every year of school and i told stories. “how to get through 7th grade” gathered half a million views.

other years, it was being a self love coach. relaying the gift of healing that i felt so incredibly lucky to be given. telling stories of healing. in the hopes that it would help others feel seen and heard.

✧.*

but for a little while there (like 4 years), my purpose was stripped down to the harsh reality of needing to survive.

years of childhood trauma and abuse had finally caught up to me. it seeped into my bones and came out like chronic pain. shoulder and neck tension, chest pain,and aches from head to toe. it expressed itself like a constant state of frozen fear, yet an instinct to run and run and run and run and run and—

my days became plagued with exhaustion, hyper-sensitivity, and hyper vigilance — the worst cocktail known to man.

i had done every type of trauma healing one 20-something year old girl can possibly do. i’d done every therapy, every meditation, every wellness supplement, every lifestyle change. i’d held myself through nights of crippling ptsd, i’d held my own hand as i walked through moments of terror.

but clinical depression and anxiety took over my life.

and “i don’t know how to explain it. but this doesnt feel like the life i am meant to be living. i feel lost, i feel like time is running out. i feel like im in the wrong reality. and i don’t know where i went so wrong.”

You Deserve Healing

i’m about 6 months into my journey with anxiety & depression medication, and i giggle (lovingly) at that precious girl who felt like SHE had done everything wrong.

the girl who has spent her life creating, expressing, writing, telling stories, learning, and sharing.

the girl who has creativity in her DNA and the need to help others in every corner of her heart.

and here i am, still telling stories. (wink)

im also on the road to a degree in psychology. (wink)

the difference?

i now remember the beautiful fact that there is no such thing as being lost. every pathway, every season, every embodiment is simply a stop along the way on the journey of life. the point is the endless unfolding of shedding, releasing, remembering, and becoming.

every expression of yourself that you have ever been has lead you to where you are today, and where you will be. there are no wrong turns, because there is no wrong way. even the “worst” cycles you’ve caught yourself in, are apart of the incredible creation of you.

thank yourself for who you are today, by honoring all of the versions that got you here. and get excited and inspired by future you who has taken the pieces of current you to embody who you one day will be.

i love you, a lot.

if you’re wanting to dive deeper into your self love journey, my subscribers are working through a beautiful, guided, do it yourself 7 day self love practice that you can do at any time!

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

hello my beautiful community! here on The Fairy & The Moon there is no shortage of journaling content, I consistently post journal prompts, self love guides with journaling excercises (for my paid community), and we really just talk about journaling a LOT! so i thought this week we could go back to basics and go over some of the pillars for beginning a journaling practice that will actually work for you, how to create a routine that sticks, and even some guidance on how to begin! eeek lets dive in im so excited!

a quick note of (very fitting) exciting news...

my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend is out now!!!

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

How to Start A Journaling Practice

journaling is one of those things that we hear a lot about, or may feel curious to try, but we aren’t often aware of the why. i began journaling consistently over 11 years ago now, and i have gathered a pretty extensive collection of my journals at this point. the benefits have been endless.

journaling is a sacred process that has saved my life more times than i can count. it has helped me connect with myself, it has shown me my blind spots, it has prompted healing that was otherwise halted, it has helped me become who i am today. i will tell you this: i met myself because of journaling. and i eventually became my own best friend, because of journaling. no, like seriously, we are best friends. i know myself the way a mother knows her own. i am my own. and it is an honor to be connected to myself.

my credentials (lol):

i typically keep deeper guides like this inside the lessons in self love library (a growing archive for my paid community), but this one felt too special not to share with everyone. check out the most recent lessons in self love post, its 7 days of self love (that you can do anytime!) and it includes journaling prompts!! <3

the benefits of journaling:

• an easy way to empty the mind: i know that i am not the only one who struggles with overthinking, rumination, and negative thoughts. it truly is an ongoing practice for me to care for the quality and tone of my thoughts. the first way to manage the buildup of not-so-fun thinking, is to pour it out. journaling acts as a physical way to do so. by writing what is building up, we are able to truly release it all.

• an incredible way to connect with yourself: i genuinely cannot possibly count the amount of times that i have discovered new aspects of myself, come up with fresh ideas, or felt like i healed something while i am journaling. its like having a conversation with yourself, and it is SUCH an easy, actionable way to do so.

• a beautiful way to memory-keep: i use journaling to keep memories, often pasting pictures and writing down beautiful (and not so lovely) things that have occured. its created a literal collection of books of my life and the things i have gone through and it is such a joy to look back on.

• evidence of your growth: ugh, possible one of my favorite benefits. it is just SO cool to look back on old entries and see how much i have grown or changed. i also love seeing prayers that have come true, or watching myself want something that i now have.

• a real tool for healing: writing really is an incredibly effective way to heal. it is a powerful companion to any kind of healing journey. whether you are working through something difficult, intending to grow in certain aspects, or fostering deeper connection with yourself. i have healed so, so many times through writing.

  

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if you feel stuck when you try to journal:

starting something new — especially something that asks you to be honest with yourself — can feel surprisingly hard.

if you’ve ever opened your journal and immediately felt stuck, distracted, or unsure… you’re not alone in that at all.

here are a few gentle ways to move through some of the most common blocks:

“i don’t know what to write”
start simple. you don’t need the perfect thought — just begin with something like “today i feel…” or “lately i’ve been thinking about…” and let it unfold from there.

“i keep overthinking it”
try writing badly on purpose. messy sentences, run-on thoughts, no structure. your journal is not something to get right — it’s somewhere to be real.

“i don’t have time”
you don’t need a full, quiet morning to journal. set a timer for 2–5 minutes and write whatever comes up. a few honest lines are more than enough.

“i can’t stay consistent”
consistency doesn’t have to mean every day. it can look like coming back when you feel the need to. this is something you return to, not something you keep up with perfectly.

“i start, but i don’t go deep”
you don’t always have to. some days your journal will hold surface thoughts, other days it will hold something deeper. both are part of the practice.

“i feel disconnected when i try”
that’s okay too. even just sitting with the page, even writing “i don’t know what to say right now” is still a form of connection.

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how to build a consistent practice:

the trick with a consistent journaling practice is that it has to be something you pour love into. it has to feel like a lovely part of your life — not a burden, not a task, not something sitting on your to-do list that you avoid.

and one of the quickest ways to kill that feeling is to stack a bunch of rules and expectations on top of it.

so before anything else, gently let those go.

there is no rule book for journaling. there is no right way to do it. you don’t need to write a certain amount, or write in a certain style, or even make sense half the time. this is your space. let it be messy, let it be soft, let it be something you don’t judge. that’s when it becomes what it’s meant to be — a freeing, healing place you can return to.

redefining consistency

consistency doesn’t have to mean “every day.”

consistency can simply mean:
something you come back to.

something that exists in your life as a place you know you can return to — without pressure, without guilt, without needing to do it perfectly.

for some people, that might look like journaling every morning.
for others, it might look like a few times a week.
and for some, it might look like picking it up whenever something is on your heart.

all of those are valid.

a consistent practice isn’t built through force — it’s built through relationship. the more your journal feels like a safe, inviting place, the more naturally you’ll come back to it.

make it something you look forward to

one of the most helpful things you can do is make journaling feel like a moment.

light a candle, bring a drink, sit outside, play music, or take yourself somewhere new. i love journaling in my backyard with a little snack, or going to a new coffee shop and making it feel like a date with myself.

it doesn’t have to be elaborate — just intentional.

when your brain starts to associate journaling with something cozy, calm, or even a little special, it becomes something you want to do, not something you have to push yourself into.

a few ways to make it stick (gently)

• keep your journal somewhere visible so it’s easy to reach for

• pair journaling with something you already do (like your morning coffee or winding down at night)

• set a timer for just a few minutes instead of waiting for the “perfect time”

• let short entries count — a few lines is enough

• remove the pressure to be deep every time

my approach to consistency

i’ve been journaling for over a decade, and one of the biggest reasons i’ve stayed consistent is because i’ve never forced myself to do it on a schedule.

i’ve never told myself it has to be every day, or a certain number of times a week. for me, that takes the life out of it.

instead, i let it be something i return to.

and if i notice it’s been a few days or even a week, i do one of my favorite things — a little “here’s what you missed”entry. i’ll sit down, maybe print out a few pictures, and write little updates about what’s been going on.

it turns what could feel like “falling behind” into something that feels joyful and connective — like catching up with a long distance best friend.

if structure feels good to you

you also get to create a practice that does have structure, if that’s what supports you.

maybe you want to journal every morning, or keep a nightly gratitude list, or check in with yourself a few times a week. if having a rhythm or routine feels grounding, that’s beautiful.

just make sure it still feels like something you’re choosing — not something you’re measuring yourself against.

you’re allowed to shift it. you’re allowed to miss days. you’re allowed to change what journaling looks like for you.

this is for you, not something you have to get right.

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make it a little fun

sometimes consistency is also just about making something feel a little more inviting.

you can:

• keep a small chart at the beginning of your journal and add a star or sticker each time you write

• use pens or colors you love

• create little “just for fun” pages in between entries

it doesn’t have to be serious to be meaningful.

alright, lets get to the best part in my opinion…

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library — a growing collection of guided exercises, journaling rituals, and deep dive self love practices to help you slow down, reconnect, and deepen your relationship with yourself.

✧join lessons in self love✧

Lets Get Whimsy With Journaling༊*·˚

Step One: Picking a Journal

i have had soooooo many beautiful journals over the years, and my style of favorite journal has totally gone through phases. but there is nothing quite as sweet as picking out your journal. maybe you love a hard cover, or you prefer blank pages, or you like something soft and compact. or you’re wanting to build a keepsake leather journal where you can switch out the inserts. whatever you fancy, it is calling you! and the cool thing about building a consistent practice is that you can always switch up your vibe later on.

Step Two: The Fun Additions

i looooove decorating my journal!!! you can decorate the cover, or the first page, and write the start date! i usually keep my journaling pretty inexpensive by mostly printing pictures and using a good old glue stick. but here is my list of optional journal companion tools.

• gooooood pens: you gotta find pens you LOVE!!! lately i have been obsessed with the sarasa zebra line, its super smooth and thin. and i usually pair it with the mildliner highlighters. a good old faithful that i’ve always loved is the pilot g-2.

• COLOR!: you gotta have colorful pens at that… or color pencils, or markers, or highlighters, or crayons. but whatever you do, add in some color!

• pictures: most of the beauty within my journals comes from printing pictures. theres multiple ways you can do this whether its your at home printer, or a store, or a portable photo printer. but you can also utilize whats around you, find an old magazine or purchase a collage book, get crafty and paste a few things to just add a bit of whimsy!

• there is a whole world of washi tape, stickers, and all of the things. if you have the extra cash on hand, go visit your local stationary store or find one online and see if anything calls out to you! i always find that when i have a couple things to beautify my journal with, i always feel more inclined to journal.

Step Three: The Just-For-Fun Pages

for me, my journal has pages and pages of writing and just good ol’ basic journaling. but throughout, i love to do pages just for fun. whether thats a colorful gratitude page, a page with just a picture from pinterest, or a quote i love that i write really big. the just-for-fun pages take away some of the pressure and turn it into something that feels a bit more whimsical. (ideas for journal pages will be later in this article!)

Step Four: Make It A Whole Moment!

i love grabbing all my supplies, and bringing them all outdoors or to some place lovely and special. play music, light a candle, get in the vibe!

Step Five: Get Excited To Finish!

i stay excited to complete a journal with a few little tricks.

• write a little completion letter at the end: when i finish a journal i love to go back and take a peek through my journey, and then i write a bit of a synopsis at the end.

• store the finished ones in a special spot: an entire shelf of my bookshelf is reserved for my completed journals! and it just feels sacred to put a newly finished one there.

• get excited to pick out your next one!: put intention and whimsy into the picking of your next journal, by really going towards what kind of journal is calling to you!

if you want something to follow, something to actually move through, here’s a gentle place to begin, pick whatever calls out to you!:

Journal Page Ideas + Prompts

✨ journal page ideas

• a “currently” page (what you’re loving, feeling, listening to, learning)

• a photo dump page from your week + little captions

• a gratitude page, written in colorful pens

• a “brain dump” page — no structure, just everything on your mind

• a page dedicated to a song you love (lyrics + what it means to you)

• a “what’s been on my heart lately” page

• a future vision page (what you’re calling in, softly)

• a memory page from a really good day

• a page of quotes that feel like you

• a “things i want to remember” list

🌿 gentle prompts to begin

a simple way to begin (5-minute reset):
set a timer for 5 minutes, put your phone away, and choose just one prompt from above. don’t overthink it — just start writing. when the timer ends, close your journal and take a deep breath. that’s enough for today.

• what has been on my mind lately?

• what am i currently feeling, underneath everything else?

• what do i need more of in this season of my life?

• what has been draining me?

• what has been quietly nourishing me?

• what am i learning about myself right now?

• what feels uncertain?

• what feels true?

• what would slowing down look like for me right now?

• what do i need to hear today?

if you’re still not sure where to begin, just write about your day.
what happened, how you felt, what stood out.
it doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful.

journaling doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. it doesn’t have to be consistent to be real, and it definitely doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version to be working. all it has to be is yours. a place where you can come as you are — on the good days, the confusing days, the in-between seasons where nothing quite makes sense yet. a place where you can be honest, where you can process, where you can slowly come back to yourself. and if you take anything from this, let it be this: you don’t need to wait to become a “journaling person” to begin. you begin… and that’s what makes you one. start messy, start small, start today, or next week, or whenever it feels right. your journal will meet you there.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

a little offering from my heart...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

mini author’s note:✨we’re celebrating 1 year of the fairy & the moon ✨ to thank you for being here, we’re offering 20% off yearly subscriptions for a limited time. it’s the perfect chance to step into the living library of self-love lessons, journal prompts, and exclusive content created to help you reconnect with yourself.

claim your anniversary offer

if you aren’t loving yourself, you are abandoning yourself

TW: mild mention of childhood SA

it is easier to abandon yourself than it is to love yourself, and the only thing standing inbetween is awareness.

many of us have been abandoning ourselves for so long, in tiny ways, that it often goes completely unnoticed. we become accustomed to turning off our needs in the hopes of being easier, more palettable, less of a burden. we often find ourselves in familiar cycles, with familiar people, in familiar depressions. thinking, “how in the world did i find myself here again?” we learned as children that if we could stay small, and observant, and map the emotional and physical signs in the adults around us, we could prepare for catastrophe before it inevitably came. and we learned that if we positioned ourselves to be more perfect, happier, better, smarter, that maybe we could fix the adults around us.

so much of this energy and attention is focused outwards. it is like having a leak, but in your own body. all of the energy of love, care, understanding, devotion, empathy is leaking out of you.

and i ask you this, how often do you feel it is truly returned?

how long have you been letting your precious energy go to waste?

for people who will never give you the time of day?

Subscribe now

okay okay okay i know that might’ve been so real you’re almost rolling your eyes because damn i could’ve held your hand first! well, i’ll hold your hand now. but first, will you hold mine?

i grew up in an environment that was overtaken by emotionally immature and chronically addicted adults. my homes were playgrounds of adult drug addiction, codependency, and abuse in every stretch of the term. my own father was a pedophile, and i was not spared. i learned very, very young, that the farther i could get away from myself, the safer i would be.

i abandoned myself out of sheer and necessary survival. and it worked, and it worked well. i became a master of dissociation, and it saved my life, and allowed me to continue on, until i was truly ready to face what had happened to me.

and the thing is, what has happened to you, however big or small, will always be within you, it is waiting for you to come witness it. it doesn’t dissapear or decompose or get lost in the ethers. one day, it will be a very special invitation. it will invite you to travel to the sacred place within you. you will need to witness the darkness, but once you do, the light will show itself to you.

in the careful emptying of all of the baggage i had pushed so far away, connection was born. connection to myself. intimacy with my own self. bonding. unconditional love bloomed. trust rooted itself. and at some point along the way, i became my very own bestfriend.

and there lies the magical, magnificent, life-saving journey of self love.

not self obsession, not narcissism, not being conceited, not any of that.

self love means self love. it means offering yourself true, precious, unconditional love. it means pouring into yourself with the kindness, understanding, and empathy that you so freely give others. it means sitting with yourself in presence, with compassion and actively listening to your own feelings, needs, and thoughts. it means becoming a safe, sacred place to come home to. for the rest of your life, the only thing that is sure, is that you will be going to bed with yourself and waking up with yourself every single night and day. so, it is worth your time to make the relationship with yourself one that feels safe, and calm, and loving.

let it take time. creating a bond with anyone takes quality time, patience, and presence. it is no different with our own selves. it is more than okay if this journey feels uncomfortable. the most important thing is that you decide to truly care. about yourself, about getting to know yourself. you must truly care to become your own bestfriend. why would i spend time with someone who doesn’t care to get to know me truly and deeply? there is no perfect timeline, there is no rush, there is no right way. there is only the ever unfolding process of becoming. we become our own best friend, and it is one of the greatest journeys you will ever go on.

all you need to begin this journey right now:

take time today or tonight, to sit down with yourself, and either out loud or in your journal ask, “How are you, really?”

and ask the question with sincerity and true care, like you would to your best friend. and then answer with as much honesty as you can, like you would hope your best friend would.

if you’ve been feeling this—the distance from yourself, the pressure, the quiet kind of exhaustion that doesn’t always have a name… i made something for you.

a gentle, 7-day self love practice. not to fix you, but to help you gently come back to yourself. it’s a space you can move through slowly, with journal prompts, small rituals, and moments that ask you to be a little softer, a little more honest, a little more on your own side. if you’re ready to take the next step, you can explore it here:

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

april carries the energy of spring blooms, new beginnings, and the quiet magic of growth. the air feels lighter, the days longer, and with aries season at the start of the month, there’s quite a spark of courage inviting us all to step forward with brave intention.

i know that i can feel the energy shifting, it’s like as soon as april begun my energy started coming back. but it isn’t in a harsh or overly demanding way, it just feels like i am ready to create and live and seek joy. i love april, its this magical pocket inbetween winter and summer and it doesn’t have the harshness of either of those seasons. i intend to bring whimsy into each of my days as much as i can, through romanticizing the littlest things. because that’s where joy and gratitude truly come from… being willing to see joy in all things, big and small.

30 days of self love: an april journaling practice

this journaling companion is your own little sanctuary for reflection and self love.

how it works: each day, one prompt will invite you to slow down, notice your inner world, and tend to the seeds you’re planting in your life. some days you might write a page, other days just a line—every prompt is focused on building trust, clarity, and intimacy with yourself.

• one prompt a day {with a focus of self love & becoming your own bestfriend}

• a note from me under each prompt, with tips & deeper understandings of the purpose of the prompt

• key astrology dates with explanations throughout the 30 days!

through this practice you’ll notice which parts of your life are ready to bloom, which need quiet patience, and how you can align with your own natural rhythm.

think of this month as a gentle garden: some seeds need warmth and sunlight, others need space to rest and grow at their own pace. this practice is about showing up for yourself, honoring your pace, and noticing the subtle magic woven through your everyday moments.

and if you skip or miss a day… don’t even fret! this is simply an invitation to spend time with yourself throughout the month, use it however feels best for you. <3

April’s one-a-day journaling prompts

April 1
what in your life is ready to bloom this month, and what needs a little more quiet before it can grow?

✿ intentional self love includes sitting with the seeds you are planting, and noticing where you’d like to let things breathe a little longer. especially with aries season, you may feel into the things where you are meant to move forward with action— but it is okay if some things need more time, too.

April 2
list three small ways you can bring more ease, joy, or presence into your daily routine this month.

✿ keep it simple… think: a morning without going directly on my phone, a nightly cup of tea, enjoying one self care act like face masks or a bubble bath. it is often the littlest things that bring the most precious spots of joy.

☆ full moon in libra: april 1–2

april opens with a full moon in libra, symbolizing balance, relationships, harmony, and personal vs. partnership needs. an opportunity to pour into yourself, and look at how you give and receive.

bonus reflection: what relationships in your life feel equal and harmonious?

April 3
what recurring thought or feeling keeps circling in your mind, and what gentle action could help you meet it with compassion?

✿ when we are building the relationship with ourselves, one of the most powerful things we can do is truly begin to listen to the tone of the conversations you are having with yourself. i spoke about this more in my free post about if you don’t control your day, it will control you. this prompt is an opportunity to bring some awareness to your self-talk.

April 4

Read more

7 days of self love: becoming your own best friend

you don’t need to become a different person to be worthy of your own love. i think, deep down, you already know that. but sometimes the way you move through your days doesn’t reflect it — the way you speak to yourself, the pressure you carry, the distance you feel from who you are.

maybe you’ve been a little harder on yourself lately. maybe your thoughts haven’t felt like a safe place to land. maybe you’ve been showing up for everything and everyone, while quietly drifting further away from yourself.

this is for that version of you.

not the one who has it all figured out, not the one who is perfectly healed or endlessly positive — just the real you, as you are right now.

this isn’t something you need to do perfectly. it’s not a challenge, or a reset, or a way to finally “fix” yourself. it’s just a space to come back to yourself, gently. to notice what’s been going on inside you, to soften the way you hold it, and to begin, slowly, being on your own side again.

over the next 7 days, you’re not becoming someone new. you’re just rebuilding a relationship with yourself — one that feels a little more honest, a little more supportive, a little more like home.

each day will have: an intention, an affirmation, 3 journal prompts, the self love moment/date, and 1-2 practices based on the theme

you can move through this however you need. slowly, all at once, or returning to certain days more than others. there’s no right way to do this.

just start where you are.

mini author’s note:✨we’re celebrating 1 year of the fairy & the moon ✨ to thank you for being here, we’re offering 20% off yearly subscriptions for a limited time. it’s the perfect chance to step into the living library of self-love lessons, guided rituals like this one, journal prompts, and exclusive content created to help you reconnect with yourself.

claim your anniversary offer

THE 7 DAYS of self love

Day 1: Meeting Yourself Where You Are

intention: no fixing yourself, just gently meeting yourself right where you are at

affirmation:
i am present with myself. i see myself as i am, without judgment.

You don’t become your own best friend by judging where you are — you start by seeing it clearly, and being willing to become present and meet yourself right where you are. you know that experience when your friend is going through something really hard and emotional, and all they really need is for you to just be in it with them?

that is the idea here.

to simply witness what’s going on inside of you, and allow it to exist without needing to change it. no improving, no reframing, no turning it into something more palatable. just honesty, and presence.

Read more

i’m not crying. you are!

when i first began my substack, i had absolutely no idea what it would become. i couldn’t have known i was about to build the most meaningful thing in my life. i still remember finding the app… i made an account, logged on, and explored in pure awe. i had never been on a platform quite like this one. for days, i did nothing but read magical articles that i found. it was like this quiet, whimsical space that helped my brain to fully slow down. those first few quiet days are still imprinted within me, there was just something so purely magical and wonderful.

and then i sat down to write my first article. i didn’t have a game plan, or a business plan, or anything of the sort. all i had was pure joy, a place to write an article about something that matters to me.

the name “The Fairy & The Moon” simply came to me. i remember sitting down, thinking of what to name my publication. nothing was sticking or feeling right, and when the name came to me, i thought it was so bizarre and odd. really? thats the one? but it was such a strong intuitive nudge, that i decided to just go with it.

the first graphic i ever made for my publication:

that week, i went to my friend’s bachelorette party. i had posted one article on substack, and nobody in my life knew about it. one of the girls had brought a charm making kit as an activity for everyone to do. she came out to me as i was sitting by the pool, she looked at me and said “this one is for you” and handed me this:

i remember getting chills from head to toe. i was like you have got to be absolutely kidding me! and of course, i couldn’t hold it in, so i told everyone the story and what i had just began. and we all found it absolutely magical.

I have never shared before the true meaning of the name “The Fairy & The Moon” : during many of my darkest nights, in the throws of PTSD, early sobriety, heartbreak, gried, and healing, i would find myself outside, looking at the moon. and i would talk to it, or at it, or with it. something about the dark of the night, and the brightness of the moon made everything feel safe and calm. it felt like i could just unload, i could cry, i could tell the truth. and i spent many lonely nights, having long conversations with myself, under the illumination of the moon. these moments built the relationship with myself, because all of these conversations fostered a place of honesty, humility, and intimacy within myself. and so i wanted to birth a space that guided other fairies and humans alike, to sit with themselves in the dark, engage in intimate honesty, and feel guided by the light within them.

the very first article on the fairy & the moon:

i had nothing but pure joy when writing and posting this. i wasn’t really thinking about anybody reading it, or any goals for what it might become. i just kept writing. from a raw and honest place i wrote about self love, about healing, about becoming your own bestfriend. and this piece came through next:

and it circled around, it got traction, and my comments were filled with the most honest and meaningful responses i have ever received. i have been on social media for over 15 years now. when i was 11 years old i made a youtube channel called pinkandsparkles101, and i made videos about makeup, fashion, and hair. then i began making a video for every year of school i completed, and giving advice from what i’ve learned. tween-age me made videos called “advice for getting through 7th grade” and it quietly evolved into more and more. eventually i started making videos on the self love journey, and healing, and more. when i was 18 years old, i built a very small business through instagram, where i began coaching women from all over the world on the self love journey. i held groups focused on learning more about your own inner world, practical meditations, and more. but in all of these evolutions of my work, there was one thing i did not notice until substack, and it was this:

i was always writing.

i had been journaling consistently for a decade, i made and sold PDF guided journals, i wrote long captions and posts for instagram, and detailed scripts for my podcast and my youtube channel. in many ways, i wrote in such a flow state that i didn’t ever stop to realize how integral writing was for me.

and substack woke that up, substack made something very clear to me: i am a writer, and i fucking love writing.

somewhere along the way, things began to grow. slowly, then all at once.
more readers, more messages, more of you finding your way here.
and with that growth came something unexpected—
not pressure, but devotion.
a deeper commitment to showing up honestly, to protecting the softness of this space, to never losing the feeling i started with.

3 months into substack I wrote my most viral post to date:

what amazes me about this post is that it is just so incredibly aligned with me, what i want to offer to the world, and my philosophy at its core. if you’ve spent any time with me on my page, you may see that i am someone who had no choice but to go on a devoted journey of self-healing. it was imperative to my survival that i learn the map to the world within me, and take precious care to protect myself, love myself, and guide myself. for me, self love has never, ever been a silly fun thing. initially, it was the only chance i had to stay alive. and then i found the magic of its ever-unfolding practice. because self love at its core is building an honest and loving relationship with yourself. it is taking care of your most consistent home (yourself) first and foremost. and naturally, it seeps into every corner of your life, reflecting back to you the magnificent dedication and devotion you have poured into your own inner world. it is my deepest joy, and my truest purpose, to share the journey of self love in a tangible, digestible form. there is nothing more precious to me than giving back what i feel i was so lucky to be given. my deepest wish is to inspire self love in the hearts i come into contact with. and of course, to offer a map, on how to do it for yourself.

things this year quietly taught me:

• that following a feeling is sometimes more powerful than having a plan

• that when you write honestly, the right people will always find you

• that empathy & sensitivity is not something to outgrow, it’s something to protect

• that community isn’t built by trying to be seen, but by truly seeing others

• that the things that feel most natural to you… are often your purpose

• that i was always a writer, i just needed a place to remember it

• that magic tends to appear when you decide to trust yourself

• that i was worth the effort to keep going, no matter what.

this year has been an up, down, loopdy-loop spiral. sometimes i was growing on substack, sometimes it stalled, sometimes it even plummeted. the only thing i truly did was keep showing up. and i often reminded myself of the true purpose, not to grow monetarily or through numbers, but to have an honest space to share with people who need my words.

the most magnificent part of the entire thing: you.

i had been working on building communities for many years of my life, like the true aquarian i am. and in many ways it felt like everything i had learned, was meant to be implemented on substack. the more this space unfolded, the more i knew i wanted The Fairy & The Moon to feel like a cozy, safe community. i wanted people to come home to this newsletter and feel like they could exhale, feel supported, understood, and connected. through conscious writing, utilizing my subscriber chat, and offering opportunities to connect as a community, i have been able to create a safe space for over 10,000 of you. can you believe that?! you, the reader, make everything i do feel absolutely worth it. your thoughtfullness, your presence, your kindness, and your empathy, amaze me all of the time. your comments, your messages, and everything inbetween always leave me in awe- like wow. writing as my most authentic self, has also brought me the most authentic community of humans. my gratitude is endless, but more than anything, you are my very, dear friends. it is very clear to me that those who come to my substack, are indeed kindred souls. and i feel connected to each and every one of you.

i did a reader-survey with multiple questions, and one of them was,

“How does reading The Fairy & The Moon make you feel?”

Powerful + seen

Inspired, whimsical

Relaxed! I am slowly learning about myself, with help from articles like yours.

Seen

Inspired and lightened

It makes me feel better about myself, and it’s like a safe place away from the world

2000s romcom cozy mood

Heard

very happy and calm, thank u very much <3333

Relieved? And inspired

warm and excited!!

happy, at peace, and refreshed <3

More at peace 🤍

Kind words from kindred souls:

“[Rhiana] has such a gentle way of making the messy, terrifying process of self love feel... possible. Familiar. Even beautiful.”
— Sar x, The Unfiltered NeuroSpicy Diaries

“The Fairy & The Moon just gets it—the slow healing, the quiet chaos, the anxious heart learning how to bloom.”
— Soft Chaos Dispatch

“Rhiana poetically shares personal musings on life on her page. Seeing her posts is like hearing whispers from the fairies that hide in flower gardens.”
— Rose Rodriguez, Readers & Writers

“[Rhiana’s] writing is achingly beautiful. It reads like a balm and a blueprint at once. She makes the hard feel soft, and the soft feel holy.”
— Siggy, Raised by Shrinks

“I can read everything this author writes. Story-telling type of writing style with the most fascinating and interesting topics I’ve ever read about. Extremely truthful, raw and personal. This is what reading someone else’s journal might feel like.”

— The Scarlet Journal

“The Fairy & the Moon feels like moonlight on paper—a beautiful place to pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself.”

— Mother, Mirror, Muse

eventually, i opened the paid portion of my publication, with a pure intention to create a space for people who want to dive deeper into healing themselves. for those who want more intricate guides, self love frameworks, journal prompts and more. throughout this year, it has become an entire living library, a part of my work that i am so incredibly proud of:

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!: for one week only, as an anniversary celebration, please enjoy 20% off of a year long subscription to the private portion of The Fairy & The Moon! https://rhianameri.substack.com/oneyearanniversary

view the one year anniversary offer!

because of substack, and because of all of your support, i created and birthed the most precious thing on the planet to me. my very first, completely beloved, guided journal.

it is a physical and tangible expression of all of my work over the past decade, and because of writing this substack, i began putting this book together and writing for it in the background. it was like, by being in true alignment with my purpose, this precious book was ready to be born. while writing articles for you and pouring love into our community, i spent many late nights putting together this guided journal. my journal prompt pieces here on my newsletter are some of the most loved, most shared, pieces i have. it felt like a natural evolution to take that magical work of writing journal prompts for different seasons of life, and putting it somewhere where you can put pen to paper. so much of you, and what we have created here is inside of this book. it is meant to act as a physical thing you can hold in your hands and use during quiet nights of connecting with yourself, a place you know you can always go to to return to the world within you, and a book that will surely become a companion in your journey to building a beautiful relationship with yourself.

i am finishing the very last pieces, and am incredibly excited to bring this to you this spring, early into my second year on substack.

one year ago, i followed a feeling.
i didn’t have a plan. i didn’t know where it would lead.
i just knew it mattered to me.

and now, a year later, i can see it so clearly:

this was never just about writing.

it was about remembering who i am.
it was about finding you.
it was about building something soft and safe and real in a world that so often isn’t.

thank you for being here. truly.
thank you for reading, for feeling, for growing alongside me.

year two of the fairy & the moon is just beginning…
and i have a feeling it’s going to be even more magical.

recently i have been — for lack of a lovelier way to put it — a total negative nellie. irritable, discontent, harboring a glass-half-empty mindset. i wake up, annoyed. i move through my day keeping a running list of everything that is wrong, everything that i don’t have, and everything that i wish i had. and it’s hard to notice or see, because it feels righteous almost. yes that is annoying, yes that does suck, yeah you’re right everything is hopeless. it’s like a conversation in my own brain with someone who hates everything, and they’re constantly talking to me, to the point where i have no choice but to begin believing it.

but i would never do that in my own life.

i would never let someone look at the life i have created and tell me that it sucks. i would show them the door faster than they can say EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!

so why in the world, am i allowing this roomate from the fiery pits of hell to live rent-free in my own brain?

so, yesterday, i said what the fuck. actually, bye.

just like that. “what the fuck. actually, bye.”

i woke up at 9 am (a far cry from a depressing 1pm wake up), i left my phone in my room, and i grabbed my journal and took myself downstairs. i made coffee exactly how i love it, and brought myself outside to my beautiful backyard. and i sat there. and i noticed the birds, and i spotted a monarch butterfly. and with resistance heavier than the hardest pilates class — i wrote three gratidudes. but once i wrote three, i thought of three more. and all of a sudden, today was a good day. i went and got a sandwich, and i thanked the person who made it for me. and then i took a shower, a really long, really good shower. all the bells and whistles. i put leave in conditioner in my hair, and i blew it out. and i spent the rest of the day watching the shining sun turn into sunset and the blue hour turn into night, and i watched as the moon replaced the sun, shining ever so bright.

and the bad thoughts came, but i told them to go the fuck away.

so today, i woke up at 9 am again. and i decided to wear a really cute outfit. i decided to decide that i am beautiful, and confident, and fashionable. because all that is between me and confidence is a decision. you can be anything you want to be, you just have to choose to be that. so i said, today i will be confident, and happy, and i will feel beautiful. and i took myself to a coffee shop, and got an overpriced latte and sat down to write you this letter.

when i am stuck in a funk, i often become a prisoner of my own mind. i seemingly forget my surroundings, and decide to succumb to being trapped. i sit idly by, watching as the bad moods and negative thoughts surround me. and it can be days before i realize that there is no lock on my cage, and the door has been open the entire time.

and then i have a choice. i can keep sitting there, or i can get out and fly.

if you’re in this feeling right now — stuck in your head, like your thoughts are running the show — i created a guided practice to go with this piece.

it’s a step-by-step reset you can come back to on days like this: how to interrupt the spiral, shift your energy, and consciously take your day back.

✧ this is where we move from reading… into actually changing the experience ✧

we all have a choice. and being in a good mood truly is a skill you have to practice. if we let the day or the circumstances control our joy, we have lost everything. because life will always happen, it will go up and down and it will throw curveballs. but circumstances do not have any true power over the mindset and space you create within your own being. thoughts are just that, thoughts simply passing by. sometimes you have to get the fuck up and force feed yourself a good day. controlling your day doesn’t mean having a perfect routine. it means deciding — again and again — as many times as you have to, who you are going to be throughout it.

write your three gratitudes today.

and then write three more.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

a little offering from my heart...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

If you’re new here, welcome to The Fairy & The Moon : a quiet corner of the internet where we explore self love, healing, and the journey of learning to come home to ourselves. I’m so grateful you’re here.

How I Found The Light Within Me

i slowed down long enough to journal tonight. journaling is one of my most sacred forms of self healing, reflection, and meditative work. if anything, it has been the core of my self love journey since the very beginning— about 10 years ago.

when i began my self love journey, i was 16 years old. bright eyed with a wide grin, although if you looked deeper, you would see the weather and exhaustion that had been tormenting me. coming to terms with a traumatizing childhood filled with abuse of every kind, i was stuck between the remnants of my scars. my scars had etched their way into my brain and created thoughts of depression, worthlessness, hopelessness, and even suicidal ideation. although it was odd, because i could not shake this optimism i had. at times it was annoying, even. a pervasive optimistic mindset, that seemed to continuously show up. it brought along with it a deep desire to live- and not just to live, but to thrive, to experience, to love, to try, to dance, to feel, to be.

and although the darkness was louder, and harsher, and better at screaming - the light was steadier, and softer, and much better at staying.

it was always there, somewhere deep within, no matter what. the only difference between my darkest days, and my brightest ones, was my awareness and willingness to go spend time tending to the light within.

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and at 16 years old, i did just that. i got sober, and cut off the current abusive boyfriend (by the skin of my teeth, might i add) and i developed a devotion to going within. i was disciplined about healing because i was devoted to it.

and i traveled within, and i did it often. and i did it in many different ways. i did it by journaling for hours, detailing all of the funk and gunk and dark that needed an outlet, and channeling all of the light and truth that needed a messaging platform. i did it by having soulful, heart centered conversations with women in my life who loved me as deeply and truthfully as i loved them. i found myself in the arms of true friendship and i found the map to within in the lap of my mother and nana who wrapped me in unconditional love. i did it by the late nights and early mornings where i closed my eyes, sat upright, and turned on my extra sight. i dove into a deep and layered world within me. and i planted flowers there. i planted seeds. i watered every inch of my being that had been left unattended for so long.

and i created a home, within me, in the depths of my being. and in the center of it, was that ever-glowing, warm, safe, steady, soft light.

and the more i took time to go to this place, to notice this place, to recognize it, the easier it became.

some of the moments were hilarious. i could step back and witness as my ego threw a tantrum, screaming and kicking and clawing. i would watch. and like a soft guiding force, the light of wisdom would step in to the picture. soft, word-less, simple, quiet, yet incredibly strong.

and i would remember that i am safe, i am okay, i am able to find peace within, in this exact moment, right here right now.

How I continue to tend to my inner fire

and 10 years later, this profound work, is the same exact thing i still do to find healing today. i was 16 then, and 26 now, but like i said before, the light is much better at staying. and healing is not linear, it goes up and down and loops around and stalls and scales — but you will notice that beneath all of the cycles, there is a steady place within that is always available.

from my private journal tonight:

i can relax amidst the uncertainty, i can find serenity and peace from within my being. I can find the quiet glowing light within that is soft and steady. it has a quality of deep knowing, a sensation of quiet joy, pure confidence. i can see how it spreads through my being instead. how it reminds me that "detours" are actually opportunities for pause. they are invitations to go within, to the quiet wise place that is able to just simply

be .

this energy is sofer, quieter, and true-er. it is always there- beneath the noise. stress, anxiety, and ego are louder-disorietting even, they shout, begging to be soothed. they want more money, more answers, more pleasure-or so it seems - its all they know. what they really want is peace. and peace is not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it is not the feeling after 4 drinks, it is not the point of climax, it is not the runner's high, or the addict's high. it is the tiny, soft, ever glowing light within. a steady place of warmth hidden somewhere within. the only trick? you must get quiet enough to listen, you must slow down long enough to see it, and you must go within (not without) to feel it.

this little light of mine, im gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

continue reading:

✧.* a lil’ note before you go:

paid subscribers receive access to the Lessons In Self Love Library, a growing archive of tangible tools for self love. each month, 2–4 immersive new posts arrive: self love lessons, guided exercises, and journaling collections to help you slow down, reconnect, and weave self love into your daily life. you’ll also receive exclusive reflections, guided audio meditations, and digital journal pages. you’ll join a more intimate space to nurture and transform your relationship with yourself.

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

Welcome to the Lessons in Self Love Library, the deeper space inside The Fairy & The Moon.

You will find the full library & table of contents in this post, so that you can come back and browse whenever you need self love support ⭐️

The free letters are where we begin the conversation about healing, reflection, and learning how to come back to ourselves.

The Lessons in Self Love Library is where we slow down and explore the deeper work together.

Over time, many readers asked for something more than reflections — more journaling prompts, more guided practices, more ways to actually sit with the work of healing instead of just reading about it.

So this library slowly came to life.

paid subscribers receive full access to this growing collection of guides, journaling rituals, meditations, and reflections designed to support the ongoing process of learning how to love yourself.

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A small note about my own journey

Before I ever wrote about self love, I had to learn it slowly but surely in my own life. For a long time, I thought self love meant reaching a place where everything inside me felt calm and certain… a place where I no longer doubted myself and always knew what decisions to make. But over time, I realized it doesn’t really work that way. There have been seasons where I’ve felt deeply connected to myself, and seasons where I’ve felt lost again, trying to find my way back to my own self. Each time, the process looks similar: I slow down, I reflect, I write, and I listen. Little by little, I remember who I am again. That’s the kind of process this library is meant to support — the quiet, ongoing practice of returning to yourself.

What you’ll find inside the library:

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Each lesson inside the library goes beyond reflection.

These guides are designed to help you actually work through the ideas in your own life, not just read about them.

Depending on the lesson, you might find things like:

• guided journaling prompts
• affirmations for shifting your inner dialogue
• reflection exercises for deeper self-understanding
• gentle meditations for grounding and clarity
• small rituals to reconnect with yourself
• practical exercises to help integrate the lesson into daily life

The goal isn’t just to inspire you for a moment. It is to help you build a deeper relationship with yourself over time.

How the library is organized

The Lessons in Self Love Library is organized into a few different types of resources, each designed to support a different part of the self love journey.

✧ Lessons in Self-Love — deeper guides exploring different aspects of healing and personal growth.

✧ Guided Journaling Rituals — curated prompt collections to help you reflect, process emotions, and reconnect with your inner voice.

✧ Gentle Practices — meditations, grounding exercises, and small rituals to support your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.

✧ Deep Dive Essays — exclusive essays exploring the deeper work of self-love, healing, psychology, and personal growth.

✧ Deep Dive Reset Guides — longer reflective guides for realigning with yourself during different seasons of life.

Think of this library as a shelf of resources you can return to whenever you need them, a place to pull a journaling ritual, reflection, or meditation whenever you feel the desire to reconnect with yourself.

There’s no right order. Just begin wherever something feels meaningful.

table of contents:

• lessons in self love

• guided journaling rituals

• deep dive essays

• deep dive guided rituals

✧ Lessons in Self Love

Deep dive healing guides exploring different aspects of personal growth, self-trust, and emotional healing.

✧ Guided Journaling Rituals

Prompt collections designed to help you explore your inner world more intentionally.

✧ Deep Dive Essays

Exclusive essays exploring the deeper work of self love, healing, psychology, and more.

✧ Deep Dive Reset Guides

Longer reflective guides for realigning with yourself during different seasons of life.

A living library

The Lessons in Self Love Library will continue growing over time.

New guides, journaling rituals, reflections, and practices will be added regularly as we explore the many layers of healing and self-discovery together.

But there is no pressure to move through the library quickly. This isn’t a course or something you have to complete. It’s simply a space you can return to whenever you feel the need for a little extra support.

Some days you might open a lesson that speaks directly to what you’re moving through. Other days you might save a guide for later, or revisit one you’ve read before.

Think of it like a small shelf of resources you can reach for when you need them — a place to pull a journaling ritual, reflection, or meditation whenever you feel the desire to reconnect with yourself.

Just a quiet library you can explore at your own pace, whenever you feel ready for the next layer of reflection.

Self-love isn’t a destination we arrive at once and stay forever.
It’s a relationship we keep building with ourselves over time.

From my heart to yours,
Rhiana Meri✧